Adventure! :D

Yesterday I went on an adventure! :D It was quite amazing. Trimble and I had been planning to take Libby on a surprise adventure for a few days to make her feel better but we didn't think it was going to work out because he had to watch his little sister. So I told Libby about our plan and she got the idea that we could all go down to the pavilion because little kids (and us :]) love it there! So we were there for a long long time...and well...I'll use some pictures to help tell the story! :D

So Libby and I got there way before Taylor and Emily (his little sister) so we just ran around to all of the stuff (which we both know way to well) and took pictures. This is me in the room of mirrors. Haha. I really like this picture actually, even though I look silly.

This is Libby looking through one of the pieces of the 3-D puzzle of a dinosaur. That me and Libby failed to complete. :( We got so upset the we just THREW IT ON THE GROUND!!! Haha! She looks really silly in this picture! That's why I like it! :D

Then when Taylor and Emily got there we went on a lot more of an adventure and one of the things we did was make a get well soon card for Tye-Die the turtle because she was at the vet. I don't know why Taylor made such creepy faces for all the pictures but he did. Haha. :]

I could add more pictures since I took 112...but I'm too lazy too. Haha. After spending a long time at the pavilion we took Emily home and then went to my house and ate supper. Then Ziggy came over and then we had to go to shopko to get ibuprofen for my mom. Then we went back to my house and played lots and lots of Beatles Rock Band! It was so so much fun! :D And I really hope it made Libby feel better! :D

Love! :D

Happy Thanksgiving! :D

Do you ever get the feeling of sort of sadness and not know why? I feel, not sad, but not happy. I feel like I'm just here half of the time. I sure hope I'm worth something more than that. If anyone knows how I'm feeling you should tell me. Because I feel like I might be going insane. Haha. :]
Love!

I love Libby! :D

Hmm...so I have a few things to write about tonight! Yay! :D Here we go...we will go with the short lame one first.

My RT for interp is going to runner's up! Our RT is the one thing that I really like about interp. It's me, Carter Christianson, Lauren Nelson, Carla Squer, and Jason Williamson. We got 3rd at this last weekend's tournament. Which was the first tournament we ever went to. So it was awesome! And so a week from today we get to go to runner's up. Which is a pretty big honor. :] So I'm super excited! :D

On to bigger things. :]

So I put this picture on here cause I wanted one of me and Libby and I realized there aren't any of just the 2 of us that aren't quite terrible. Haha. So I put this one is cause I figured she would like Taylor in there too. :] For those of you who read Libby's blog you will have already read this or will be about to but that's ok. Me and Libby had 2 firsts tonight. She told me everything about her and Sean. Everything. Which made me feel...special? Haha. Idk...I'm just really glad she told me and felt that she could trust me. And I hope she knows that I would never ever in a million years judge her for anything like that. I will always love her no matter what! :D Another thing was I saw her cry for the first time. I know what you all are thinking. You are all like wtf? You guys are that good of friends and you have never seen her cry? After all the times you cried in front of her? Well, I never had. I had heard her cry on the phone once. But never seen it. And I'm kind of glad that I finally saw it. I'm not at all glad that she was crying. That's not what I mean. I just think it was good that we've both cried in front of each other now. I think that bonds people even more. And hopefully she knows that she can cry to me whenever she needs to. I love her so so much! :D

Dear Libby,

So that whole last part was about you but not directed at you. This part shall be directed at you! :D You are so so beautiful. I hope that you can fully believe that. To think that a year ago I had just met you and now...I don't know how I could live with out you. Remember: Girls are bitches and guys are dicks. God really screwed up in making humans. Haha. But I think there are a few good ones out there. I want you to know that I love you so so much. And you can come to me whenever. I meant everything I said in those voice mails. With all my heart. I love you! :D :D

Love, Natasha :]

The last thing is that I keep catching Rich's smell...it's freaking me out. Haha. A lot.

Love!

Just a Few Thoughts

I don't have much to write. Just a few things on my mind.

1. I'm so depressed...and I really don't know why.

2. On facebook there was a note that asked who can you tell anything to? And Libby didn't put me...this sounds really bitchy gosh. It just hurt my feelings. I don't know. My friends just kind of put up with me. I'm pretty convinced of that.

3. My RT got 3rd at the interp tournament yesterday. That was really exciting.

4. I have a chem test tomorrow and I don't understand any of it.

I'm feeling good right now. :]

So I had a HUGE break down last night. Everything just added up and I just couldn't take it. So I screamed and cried hard core for a long time. Sean had to call me to calm me down. And that took a while. I didn't sound too pretty he can tell you that. But...I think I needed that. I feel so much better now. Like I had a good day. I felt...happy. Weird I know. :P And I'm officially going to formal with Libby. :] I'm pretty excited! I hope she is too...

This is all I'm going to write for now...cause I need to rest my little eyes. :] I just wanted to let you all know that I felt good for a day. And it was beautiful.

Love! :D

Take it one step at a time my little friend.

So today was a pretty shitty day. I really wish Sean would actually show up to school. We've all been heart broken. You just need to get the balls to face it. I know that sounds bitchy. But honestly. Get your ass to school. I just made Claire a pretty bitchin CD though. :] And I found an amazing My Life Is Average:

"Today I was volunteering at a nearby elementary school's carnival. They had a DJ operating the songs playing on the sounds system. At some point Miley Cyrus's song "Party in the U.S.A." came on. A child of about 9 suddenly dropped to the floor screaming "My youth! My youth! It's being corrupted!" The DJ immediately turned off the music, apologized, and then started playing a Beatles song. I have faith in today's generation. MLIA" :D :D

I've sworn more on this blog post then ever I do believe...oh well.

The separate pieces of me are falling everywhere

If I thought I was ever being torn in two by Izzy and Ginny...boy was I wrong. I'm seeing what it's like to really be torn in two by two people I care for...more than most people could probably imagine. It's killing me...and I'm sinking...and I don't know what to do anymore.

I've tried to keep myself out of the middle. I listen to Libby while she talks about Sean, and I listen to Sean while he talks about Libby. I don't know if they've noticed but that's all I'm doing is listening. I refuse to make any comments to either of them because they are two of best friends. And I don't want any of this to make them stop talking to me if they need to. That's not what I'm saying at all...I just don't know anymore...I don't know where to go from here.

I was talking about all this to Brian the other night...cause he's really the one that's most removed from this whole situation so I knew I could talk to him. I told him that the world is spinning out of control and I don't know what to do...and his reply reminded me why I love that boy so much. Haha. Here it is:
"I know that they are your two best friends, but you can't let there problems drag you so far down. But I know that's not how it works...that you're gonna feel bad about things that happen between them two. You know what makes you so amazing, Natasha? God gave you the gift of true love and affection...as in, you have so much love for these two that it hurts so bad to see them fight...it's probably tearing you apart inside....but I don't think God would have given you this gift if he didn't think you could handle it (and just to make sure you kept a grip on life if you couldn't handle it, he made you scared of blood and wrists...ahahhahaha) but I know you have the strength to overcome this. You're a strong amazing person."

Libby wrote a post about how bad she is hurting...and Sean made a comment about how she isn't hurting near as bad as him and he doesn't write posts about how bad he's hurting and everything. What I don't get...their break up was mutual...so wtf? Sean...from listening to both of you I can guarantee you that she is hurting just as bad as you. You are both hurting equally. She writes about it on her blog because this is way of getting it all out. You were it on your sleeve everyday and show everybody how upset you are. Is that a bad thing? If you get to extreme about it yes. But not always. Libby chooses to not show everyone how sad she is and chooses to get her feeling out through writing on her blog. You need to be ok with that. She is hurting just as bad as you and needs a way to get it out.

I just really need some help...I haven't hurt this bad in a long time. And what Brian said helps...but I'm having trouble believing it. If I was so strong I wouldn't be sitting here crying over this.

I say go go go

Well....I opened this up and was going to write about how stressed I was because I don't understand Chemistry at all. Which is true, but I just checked parent view and I got an 82 on the quiz that I thought I totally bombed. Haha. So I'm feeling pretty good right now. What the shit? My computer screen just went all pink. I have no idea what the hell is going on. It's kind of freaking me out....

I don't have much to write about. I've been stressing a lot lately. About all the usual stuff so there is really no point in writing. Plus...my now pink computer screen is hurting my eyes.

Love! :D