And it kept on flying!

Tell me the truth dear boy
What is it that you are thinking?
What's going through that pretty little head of yours?
If only I knew.
If only I could engulf myself in not my own thoughts but yours.
To see inside your mind
Would I see myself?
Because mine revolve around you.
Every minute of
Every day. It's you.

And the pen flew off the page....

No...
Really?
Could it possibly happen?
Could you look at me and think the same thing that my brain has been screaming for months?
I can't even imagine...
But I want to...badly
Everything you do makes me fall harder
You're my object of perfection
My drug of choice
My sick obsession
I've never felt this way before
You smile and my heart melts
You laugh and my heart sings
You say my name and I can't help but....
smile :]
You've inspired something new in me
Something unexplainable
I want to tangle your fingers within mine
I want you to look at me and that butterfly feeling that I've become so used to
Could it possibly be true?

The snow is melting? Ha! I wish!

Life is good. And I need to remember that more often. I need to remember that it is a gift. And the times that I feel like shit just mean that a really good time is coming up really soon. I have friends that love me. And that's all I need.

I'm starting to feel good about myself again. And that feels so good. I'm starting to think that everything will be ok even though it hasn't seemed that way in a while. I'm starting to think that I'm going to make it.

Libby-I love you darling. So much. But I know I need to start letting go. I think we could still be really good friends when you go to college because you won't be that far away, but if you don't think so that's ok. If there is one thing you've taught me (and there are many more than one) it's how to survive on my own.

Callie-Thank you so much for saving me last night. Haha. You are so amazing. I owe you. Big time. You are so beautiful and don't ever think anything different. :]

Izzy-I miss you so much! It feels like I haven't seen you in ages. And I need to. I love you!

I think you three are my main three blogging buddies. I love you guys. I could go on, but for now I'm done.

Thank you world, for not giving up on me quite yet.

Woaaaaaah! There's a party at a rich dude's house!

Life has been kind of so so lately. I've been spending lots of time with Zoey which has been a ton of fun. We just cruise around in her car and jam to music and talk. It's real nice. :] Right now Libby is sleeping over which is awesome! There was some really dumb shit with the theatre II show auditions, but you can read about that on Libby's because I don't even feel like wasting the energy typing about it.

One acts went quite nicely. I miss it already. Best three days of the year hands down. So much fun. :]

I don't have much to write about...life isn't that exciting. Haha.

Dreams Only Last For A Night....

Last night I had a sleepover with Zoey. So much fun. I love that girl a lot. And I'm glad to know that next year when everyone leaves me I'll still have her. :] Speaking of everyone leaving....

I don't want that to happen. I don't want them to leave me...but I know it has to happen. Is it dumb that every time Libby says she can't wait to graduate and get the fuck out of here I kind of feel like something is stabbing...no...more like scraping at my heart a little? I'm going to miss her...

Last night me and Zoey died my hair! Not like a huge change but just something a little different. :] So I decided that with my new hair color I'm going to make a new me. This new Natasha:
1. Doesn't give a fuck what Sean or Claire think.
2. Is going to try really hard to be happy.
3. Is going to love herself...or at least try.

I hope I'll be able to see the light more if I try things....cause right now I feel like I'm falling through darkness...

Cause I know I'm good for something I just haven't found it yet....

So......I'm feeling kind of like I'm a useless piece of shit.

Thank you Sean Lemke.

Happy day before day before new year's eve! :D

Christmas break is rolling along quite nicely. I'm missing Sean a lot, but other than that I'm feeling good! :D I've had lots of fun hanging with friends and family and going to tech and such. Been keeping busy that's for sure, but then again not much to write about...

I'm actually a little excited for school to start again. Wow...I'm such a nerd, but I guess I'm just excited to have a class with Libby! :D We've never had a class together before and so yeah. Haha. It should be quite great! :D

Well...I think I'm going to head off and watch some TV with my cousin.

Love! :D