"Well...it's 2:14 a.m. but I can't sleep because of this whole situation. I'm really sick of everything that has been going on. And it isn't all right that you just call me up and expect me to want to do something with you. When you don't talk to someone for 7 weeks and 3 days you can't just pretend it never happened. You have never really apologized for this and you really need to. Because I'm never going to have piece with it if you don't. I'm not starting to forgive you because you deserve it. It's because I need to do this for myself. I'm sick of being up until 4 in the morning every night crying about all this. You did not pick a very good time to do this to me either. This has been one of the most traumatic things in my life. The other one happened these past few weeks too. And I know you have never been a teenage girl...but I've had my heart broken by a boy and that is the most painful thing that I have ever felt. I had no idea anything could be that bad. And then you had to throw this stuff on top of it. There have been many nights that I have thought about how much easier it would be to be dead than to have to deal with all of this shit. I'm so sick of it. I've had times were I have been so upset that I felt like I was going to throw up. So it's not ok for you to just call me up and pretend that everything is ok. Because it's not. So I have come up with some "conditions" and they are as follows:
1. Nest time you get mad at me don't just stop talking to me for months. Man up and find a way to handle the truth.
2. I'm fine if you try to be my friend, but do not try to be my parent.
3. This is your last chance. If you do this again I will cut you out of my life and never talk to you again.
4. You have to try. I am the child, you are the adult. It is your responsibility to try. Not mine.
Now...if you don't agree with any or all of these...than you can just forget about me because I am so sick of playing your games. Unless you agree to these I'm done. I'm walking away and I'm never coming back. Well...now that's it's 2:30 hopefully I can get to sleep because I have to be at work at 8:30."
Yeah...I can kind of be mean sometimes...but it was stuff that needed to be said. Ugh...and he just responded...but I'm too nervous to read it...but I will...here it goes...
"I tried to send this earlier but the e mail was down and not working. I have been told not to try to communicate with you via e mail but seeing how this seems to be the way you have chosen I will give it a try. First of all and most important let me apologize. I have treated you very badly and I am sorry for having done so. I hope that as difficult a time as this has been for you that you may realize it has not been easy for me either. That is no excuse, I am supposed to be old enough and mature enough to get past those things but even at my age it is not always easy. I am far from perfect and I regret having any of those imperfections rub off on you. Next, let me say that I love you very much, always have, always will. I just was never raised to or learned how to express it very well but in your case I will keep trying. I hope you can have a little patience and kick me once in a while when necessary. As to why anyone would think that I am prouder of20your brothers then I am of you I am sorry that somehow that idea was even considered. Your brothers are older and have been able to do more things, Matt as a father, in the Army, an apprentice electrician, Zach at USC. You on the other hand are well known to anyone I talk to regularly as the smart one, the talented one, the hard worker and the one who will probably go further than the rest of us combined. I suppose that might be a female thing. As to conditions, I don’t think that is fair and I don’t want to disillusion you or set you up for more disappointment. I need to put forth far more effort but you need to do some work at things too. Let’s just start with the idea of trying=2 0to understand each other and where we are coming from based on the fact that I love you very much and care about you more then you will ever know. If you are looking for perfection you unfortunately got stuck with the wrong guy. Let me know what you think. Dad "
I think that is the nicest he has ever been. This is one situation where saying what i felt didn't back fire on me! Yay!! :D I feel better about everything now. This are looking up! :D
In fact things are pretty good. I offically have 4 pokemon games now! One from each generation. It's pretty great cause yesterday my mom just radomly gave me $20 to go buy a 3rd generation game so I did! So now I have yellow, gold, ruby, and platinum! Woo hoo! And my mom just gave me a $15 itunes gift card for no reason! And I don't even have to pay her back!!! Today is a good day! And (oh yes there is more!) I worked twice this week so I mad $40! Isn't that awesome! :D I'm really happy right now...I'm almost crying! :D In a good way for once! Angie and Brian are coming over soon and my aunt that is in town from phenoix so I should probably go...but first...a picture! :D
So now you can see why I'm so excited for Angie and Brian to come over! We have so much fun together. And obviously Angie is not pregnant. That buldge under her shirt is one of the free shirts that Brian's brother Tom gave us. :) Yeah! Take that Brian's Dad! :P Haha jk!
Love you all!!! I hope you are all as happy as I am right now :D :D :D
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