Ello :)

Hi! I'm Natasha Baumgartner...I pretty much started this blog casue Libby told me to. Haha. And I love her so of corse I will! :) Plus I think it will be a good way to vent my feelings. So...where to begin...hmm...well I just talk a little bit about myself before I get into the whole stupid drama of my life. Like I said my name is Natasha. I am 15 years old. I can't believe I'm already that old! Ah! My family is my mom, my dad (ugh), my 2 brothers, Matt and Zach, my sister-in-law, Lori, and my 2 nephews, Avery and Jonah. But at my house it's just me, my mom, and my dog, Kaleb so it can be kind of boring so I hang out with friends...A LOT! Haha. My best friend in the entire world is Angie. She is amazing! I know that I can tell her anything...and I do. I have absolutley no secrets from her and vise versa if I'm not mistaken. We are like the same person. We finish each other's sentences and everything. The only thing that we differ in is that she is really shy and I'm not at all. I wish I was though...cause a lot of people hate me for my loudness...but that's a whole other story. Woah! On David Letterman they were just singing the Beatles! The reason me and Angie met! haha. That is both of our's favorite band! Anywho...people probably think we are like freaks because when we are together we can barely ever stop laughing. We are amazingly close...the other night she even helped my mom set up an eharmony account while I just sat there shaking my head. Haha. It was quite funny though. I have many other friends that I would also consider best friends. Jordynn, Ginny, Brian, Libby, and used to be Rich...and hopefully will be again sometime. So I'll go through each! Jordynn is hilarious...I haven't known her for very long but we met in gym class last semester. I hung out with her today in fact! And yesterday! And before she went to Italy we had like 3 or 4 sleepovers in one week. I love her!! :D Ginny has been one of my best friends since 7th grade. We've had our times...definitely...but we make it through. This year we got in a big fight (cough cough izzy) and didn't talk for like 3 months and thinking about what a bitch I was to her in that time still kills me. Idk why Ginny would ever read this but if you ever do...I'm so so so sorry Ginny. I love you and I can't believe I was so easily convinced not to be your friend. I wuv oo! Brian is....well he is Brian. I love him to death. He is the one that tells me what boys are thinking. And it is really nice to have him there. I can go to him for anything...well I can go to any of these people for anything...but it's nice to have a guy to go to. I love him! Libby is my big sister! She has helped me lately in life more than I could even explain. And I know she will read this so...Libby, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! I will never stop thanking you! You are the best big sister anyone could ask for. You truly are my hero and I hope I can be just like you when I get older! I love you! Rich...oh boy...this is where I spill my guts...so...me and him became good friends back in R&J days. Btw I refer to every time in my life as to which show was going on at school so R&J=Romeo and Juliet, our spring show. I really liked him a lot so that's why I really wanted to become his friend...the problem? He's 18 :/ so we quickly became really really good friends which I liked a lot. So one day...I decided to ask him if he like me to. How I was ever that brave I will have no idea. And he said yes! :D I was so happy then! haha so we became closer and closer...and the night I relized how much I really did like him was the first night we parked at our spot. It just this empty lot in my neighborhood that looks over sioux falls and is really pretty. So...we were both laying on one seat cause only one of his seats reclined and...I felt like my heart had wings. He awakened feelings in me that I had no idea exsisted. I relized that for the first time...I was in love. So we continued to get closer and closer. And we talked about dating a lot but for a lot of reasons we didn't. But eventually...we kissed. That was my first ever kiss...and was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I will never forget it. But could anyone ever forget their first kiss? Anyway...so after a little while of all that...he kind of started to pull away. I was really confused so I asked him if he didn't like me anymore...and he said that he "didn't want me to get screwed over by him". Dagger in my heart, but at that point I was like...oh...maybe it's not really over...psh...give him time. Time didn't help...things seemed to get worse. So I decided to tell him how much he hurt me...not a good idea. We got into a sort of kind of fight...idk...it pretty much resulted in me feeling like a desperate whore and him not wanting to be my friend anymore. Well...I'm moving on. I really am. I'm not just saying that! It feels really good. I feel happier than I have been in a long time. I feel much better than those 3 weeks where I cried myself to sleep every night. I'm learning to love him like a brother. I'm really getting over him...but I still do want to be his friend. Cause we had really good times together. Plus...if we aren't friends...that puts Jordynn in the middle. Which is totally unfair. She is super good friends with both of us and a lot of things we did was the 3 of us. I really hope he can put aside his anger to me for Jordynn. Cause she is such an amazing person that she deserves to have both of us.

So yeah. That's my life in a nut shell. Hope I didn't bore you to tears :)

Love you all! Peace, Love, Happiness :D