Monday, June 29, 2009
Movie Marathon!!!!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
I have to be at the Wilkins twins' house in...about 6.5 hours. Teehee. :)
Love!!! ^_^
Friday, June 26, 2009
A 3 year old made me cry :/
Love! :D
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I don't want people to hate me
Well...It was nice while it lasted...
But in other news...Michael Jackson died today. And Tom just asked Brian if he would be able to sleep better tonight. Haha...in other words....that I will not repeat... :P
Love! :D
It's not me...
"Well...it's 2:14 a.m. but I can't sleep because of this whole situation. I'm really sick of everything that has been going on. And it isn't all right that you just call me up and expect me to want to do something with you. When you don't talk to someone for 7 weeks and 3 days you can't just pretend it never happened. You have never really apologized for this and you really need to. Because I'm never going to have piece with it if you don't. I'm not starting to forgive you because you deserve it. It's because I need to do this for myself. I'm sick of being up until 4 in the morning every night crying about all this. You did not pick a very good time to do this to me either. This has been one of the most traumatic things in my life. The other one happened these past few weeks too. And I know you have never been a teenage girl...but I've had my heart broken by a boy and that is the most painful thing that I have ever felt. I had no idea anything could be that bad. And then you had to throw this stuff on top of it. There have been many nights that I have thought about how much easier it would be to be dead than to have to deal with all of this shit. I'm so sick of it. I've had times were I have been so upset that I felt like I was going to throw up. So it's not ok for you to just call me up and pretend that everything is ok. Because it's not. So I have come up with some "conditions" and they are as follows:
1. Nest time you get mad at me don't just stop talking to me for months. Man up and find a way to handle the truth.
2. I'm fine if you try to be my friend, but do not try to be my parent.
3. This is your last chance. If you do this again I will cut you out of my life and never talk to you again.
4. You have to try. I am the child, you are the adult. It is your responsibility to try. Not mine.
Now...if you don't agree with any or all of these...than you can just forget about me because I am so sick of playing your games. Unless you agree to these I'm done. I'm walking away and I'm never coming back. Well...now that's it's 2:30 hopefully I can get to sleep because I have to be at work at 8:30."
Yeah...I can kind of be mean sometimes...but it was stuff that needed to be said. Ugh...and he just responded...but I'm too nervous to read it...but I will...here it goes...
"I tried to send this earlier but the e mail was down and not working. I have been told not to try to communicate with you via e mail but seeing how this seems to be the way you have chosen I will give it a try. First of all and most important let me apologize. I have treated you very badly and I am sorry for having done so. I hope that as difficult a time as this has been for you that you may realize it has not been easy for me either. That is no excuse, I am supposed to be old enough and mature enough to get past those things but even at my age it is not always easy. I am far from perfect and I regret having any of those imperfections rub off on you. Next, let me say that I love you very much, always have, always will. I just was never raised to or learned how to express it very well but in your case I will keep trying. I hope you can have a little patience and kick me once in a while when necessary. As to why anyone would think that I am prouder of20your brothers then I am of you I am sorry that somehow that idea was even considered. Your brothers are older and have been able to do more things, Matt as a father, in the Army, an apprentice electrician, Zach at USC. You on the other hand are well known to anyone I talk to regularly as the smart one, the talented one, the hard worker and the one who will probably go further than the rest of us combined. I suppose that might be a female thing. As to conditions, I don’t think that is fair and I don’t want to disillusion you or set you up for more disappointment. I need to put forth far more effort but you need to do some work at things too. Let’s just start with the idea of trying=2 0to understand each other and where we are coming from based on the fact that I love you very much and care about you more then you will ever know. If you are looking for perfection you unfortunately got stuck with the wrong guy. Let me know what you think. Dad "
I think that is the nicest he has ever been. This is one situation where saying what i felt didn't back fire on me! Yay!! :D I feel better about everything now. This are looking up! :D
In fact things are pretty good. I offically have 4 pokemon games now! One from each generation. It's pretty great cause yesterday my mom just radomly gave me $20 to go buy a 3rd generation game so I did! So now I have yellow, gold, ruby, and platinum! Woo hoo! And my mom just gave me a $15 itunes gift card for no reason! And I don't even have to pay her back!!! Today is a good day! And (oh yes there is more!) I worked twice this week so I mad $40! Isn't that awesome! :D I'm really happy right now...I'm almost crying! :D In a good way for once! Angie and Brian are coming over soon and my aunt that is in town from phenoix so I should probably go...but first...a picture! :D
So now you can see why I'm so excited for Angie and Brian to come over! We have so much fun together. And obviously Angie is not pregnant. That buldge under her shirt is one of the free shirts that Brian's brother Tom gave us. :) Yeah! Take that Brian's Dad! :P Haha jk!
Love you all!!! I hope you are all as happy as I am right now :D :D :D
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Happy UnFather's Day! :D
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, and I'll try not to sing out of key.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Jeez...things are getting crazy!
So father's day is tomorrow...I'll be spending it with my mom...It's always been my least favorite holiday...ever since I was little. But whatevs. He tried talking to me yesterday but I wasn't taking that crap! He's probably just trying to impress his new girlfriend. I don't want to help him with that. I was finally adjusting to my life without him and then he threw this in there. I don't want anything to do with him. Is that so bad? Am I an awful person for that? But really, it's not like he's ever been great. When you are little people tell you if you throw a coin in a fountain to make a wish, and to wish on the first star you see. My wish every time, "I wish that dad would be nicer and like to spend time with us" Is that normal behavior of a 5 year old? Whatever, he liked his beer way better than he ever liked me. It's great when a drink is loved more than you. Trust me, It's a great feeling...sarcasm there in case you kids didn't get that. But don't let me spoil your father's day. If you have a great dad thank him...a million times. Cause you have no idea what it's like to have a crappy one. So be thankful. :)
Love! Peace out children! :D
Thursday, June 18, 2009
If only I could play guitar...
I also hope that my mom will let Bridget, Libby, and Merecedes sleep over tomorrow night! She said probably which is like a 99% yes. I think we would have lots of fun! Cause Merc said she would teach me more about pokemon...cause I'm kind of dumb with most of it still. Haha. It would be really cool though cause they are like all seniors. It makes me feel special that they would even want to hang out with me. :) And it will be great casue we are going to go to Rich's house and ask his mom for my gameboy back. Teehee. Cause I want to go and get yellow version! It's so ghetto! It's awesome! :)
Hope you are all wonderful! Love you! :D
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
:D
You are all amazing! Love! :D
Monday, June 15, 2009
Really important people in my present/past life. :D
This is another one of my cousins Megan. She was just in town a few days ago. We hung out and it was a lot of fun. :) She is probably the other cousin I am closest to besides Ethan and Jared. But she lives in Atlanta so I don't get to see her much :( but I love it when she visits. :)
Blech
So Zach wants me to randomly come visit him before this month ends. Which I totally want to. I even told my mom I would pay for the plane ticket but she is being really dumb about it. Urg...I hope she lets me go. Cause I really want to spend some time with him. And if I would go I would probably go on saturday. Which would mean I would be there on Father's Day! Haha! :D He's supposed to call me in about an hour to talk about stuff...mostly about me being all concered about him drinking and stuff. He says it's no big deal...but I really think it is. I've seen enough people get screwed up by it...I hate it. The 2 things I honetly hate right now...Alcohol (which will be the one thing I hate for the rest of my life) and Rich. Which is a big deal...cause I try really hard not to hate people. I know I won't hate him forever. It's just right now....I'm angry.
I had a lot of fun today though. Well Libby was here obviously when I woke up cause she slept over. And then Brian came over later. And then Jordynn came over. And then we went to Jordynn's mom's house and rescused a baby bird and then took it to her dad's house. But on the way there her car kept over heating...so we had to stop...and then Libby's step-dad came and got her...and Angie's mom broght her to where we were. Haha. And then the 4 of us hung out for a while. It was quite fun! :D
Remeber: The only time your liver gets exercise is when you laugh! So laugh often! :D
Time Travel!!!
First we are going to go back about 16ish years to when Zoey Groman and born and steal her from her parental units. Then we are going to take her back about 3 more years to Ethiopia where Elias was born. Then we are going to take baby Elias and replace him with baby Zoey. So we are going to make her have the crappy life that Elias had. Then we are going to take baby Elias to my house and make my mom adopt him...this is before I am born. And then I will have a black brother! It will be great! Then Elias will never run off to minnesota and we won't have to miss him! And then he can marry Angie! :D Then Jordynn will never have to go through all the bitchy stuff with Zoey...and everyone will just be happier! And also, Libby is going to go back and tell her past self not to date Addison and not to kiss John...and then her a Sean will be dating right now! We thought it was a pretty great plan!
Peace out! :D
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Zach and Katie :)
So...I'm really missing my brother right now so I thought I would write a little more about him. This pic right here is him and his girlfriend, Katie, right before we went on the tower of terror. He was "so scared" that's why his face looks like that. Haha. It probably seems like I favor my brother Zach over Matt. To tell you the truth...I do. I like Zach a lot more than I like Matt. They both tease me...but Zach knows when to stop. And he can also be serious sometimes. I miss him a lot...I can't wait untill he comes home in August. Except he will only be here for 2 weeks and one of those weeks he will be in chicago with his friends. But it will still be great to see him. :) And Katie is coming with him. I like her a lot. She's really nice. Haha. And they are really funny when they are together...thus her picking his nose in the pic. :) And they are really cute together...and she makes him really happy. I really hope they get married some day. Not that I don't love Lori...she just gets on my nerves sometimes. Like when she says that she hates me. But her and Katie are really different...in a good way. I'm kind of hoping when Zach and Katie come to visit she will go clothes shopping for school with me. That would be amazing! Zach is just really cool in general...sure we fight but that's normal. And I miss him a lot. I don't get to see him untill August...which makes me real sad. But I'll manage. :) I kind of hope he reads this...and Zach if you are reading this...I love you!!! And you should show this to Katie too. :)
Buh Bye! Peace out! :D
Happy Birthday Angie!!!! :D
Love you all! Happy birthday Angie! :D
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I just woke up...and it's 5:30 pm. Teehee
Love, Love, Love :D :D
Friday, June 12, 2009
Urgggg, Love, and Forgiveness. Oh my!
But on to other things...
Love. It's defined on dictionary.com as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Urban dictionary says The most spectacular,indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone. Like Libby said "If you love someone, and you end things, where does the love go?" I couldn't be more puzzled by this question...how can somebody care (or at least seem to care) about you so much one day, and then a few weeks later not even want to talk to you at all? I see how eventually it could go away...but so suddenly? Idk...I'm not trying to dwell over Rich...really I'm not. I've just been thinking about what love really is. I don't think he loved me like he said. He was just infatuated. Which was nice at the time. But now it sucks butt. Oh well though...it's over. The thing that scares me the most is that I was so surprised that one boy actually liked me. Cause I know I'm not a very beautiful or anything. So...what if it never happens again? What if there is never another boy...cause I'm still pretty sure this was just luck. I'm not sure if there will ever be someone else...and that scares me. :/ But I guess all I can do is hope and pray.
Another thing that's been on my mind lately is forgiveness. How can you tell if you've truly forgiven someone. When you just say "I forgive them"? When you tell God you've forgiven them? You think that would be the case...but shouldn't there be some weight lifted off my shoulders? Let me tell you where this is coming from. First, some back round info. I went to Edison Middle School, something I don't really like to talk about. haha. But anyway we had this show choir called "Inventions". I was in it in 7th and 8th grade. In 7th grade we were really good and I absolutely loved it! In 8th grade...not so much. And for a couple months before the incident that I'm going to tell you about happened I had kind of been not so respectful in chorus. And I admit that. But what was really dumb is that it would always be a big group of us goofing off and Mrs. Anderberg and Mrs. Sunvold (the teachers) would only ever yell at me. Now, to set the scene...It was the 2nd to last day of school in 8th grade and they were making us perform for all the 8th graders in the school. Embarrassing! So we were all goofing off and making faces at the audience and such...trying to make it a little better. So after the performance Mrs. Sunvold (who didn't even direct Inventions) came and started yelling at all of us...and then she pointed me out in front of everyone. At this point I was so sick of it that I started crying, I'm a big baby I know :/ So then she let everyone else go but still wanted to talk to me. Then she continued to yell at me for like 5 whole minutes...telling me that I was a failure and that I was never going to amount to anything and that I was an embarrassment. So she said all this to me as I was sobbing...oh and she also told me multiple times to pull it together. Ugh. And then she had the nerve to end with "but you are a really great singer and I hope you come back and visit us next year" What a bitch!!! So...this is really dumb, but all the stuff she said to me rang in my head everyday for a long long time. I really tried to forgive her...but I had a really hard time doing that. So this year I started this new thing that I would forgive everyone who did me wrong. It felt really good so I tried really hard to forgive her. And I think I have...but I don't feel any better about it...Idk...what is forgiveness truly? If you have any idea...please tell me!
Love you all! Hope you are doing marvelously :)
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Family...?
Spread the Peace, Share the Love, Have the Happiness :D
Ello :)
So yeah. That's my life in a nut shell. Hope I didn't bore you to tears :)
Love you all! Peace, Love, Happiness :D